Are you a worrywart? Have people told you that you need to stop worrying so much? Or find that you’re often getting ‘worried sick’ about anything?
Well, I would say that it is quite normal to worry. Perhaps a little worry is healthy in helping is remember to pack everything for a day out, vacation, or your work day.
It is when that worry doesn’t stop and takes up more of our thoughts than we would like, that it becomes a challenge.
In life, we learn to worry about those around us who love us and tell us so. We hear “I’m worried about you” or “I worry that you will get hurt” and so on. I think that many perceive that “worry” or “worrying about someone” is helpful. However, excessive worry only helps the person who is worrying (in their mind). Overall, it isn’t helping anyone at all.
I’d like to share with you that worry is a wasted emotion. Yes, I said it and it is a bold statement.
This might not sit well with you at first, but I urge you to consider how much time you spend with “worried thoughts” and how your body feels during and after such thinking. Check out my post on learning to listen to yourself if you want more tips on checking in with your body.
Worry is often a negative feedback loop that can keep on going if we aren’t careful.
When you spend excessive time in “worry mode” you are using up a lot of energy thinking about things, all kinds of possibilities, things that can go wrong, the ‘what ifs, and so much more. Not only does this chew up your mental capacity, but those thoughts can cause ripple effects throughout the body in physiological responses. If worry isn’t curbed, it can easily snowball into anxiety. You can read more about handling anxiety in a previous post here.
Seriously, how often does one worry about a positive outcome? Or is the best thing happening? My thoughts are that this isn’t naturally common for most individuals.
Worrying about the negatives seems far more commonplace. If you pay attention and listen, you will likely hear people worrying out loud about everything negative under the sun.
Allow me to try and paint a picture for you…
Imagine that you have a quiver of unlimited fishing poles, threaded with line plus hooks. Each time you worry about something or someone, you are taking out a fishing rod and casting your “worry line” out to said subject. The fishing hook takes hold of your subject, essentially creating a direct line from yourself to it. Each time you have a worry thought, you are “giggling” your line by sending worry vibrations out on that line. Those vibrations can be picked up through the line and hook. Given enough “worry vibrations” the subject might become stuck, frozen, or retreat to safety. The more you worry, the more poles and hooks you have out there. How exhausting might it be if you’re worried about 10 different things, imagine.. 10 poles, 10 lines, 10 hooks, and 10x the negative feedback. Whoa! And that’s only 10, worry warts likely have many more worries than that all at once! How exhausting!
Have you ever done something differently because someone was super worried about an outcome? As a child did you not tell your parents about shenanigans because they might worry too much? Perhaps there were lies told to hide things that might be upsetting? This is the result of being ‘worry hooked’ and feeling or hearing someone worry excessively. Those sensitives out there, really never want to make someone else worry.
Although we can’t necessarily eliminate worry, I think it’s possible to shift “worrywart” thoughts into positive thinking. It will take some practice.
First, become aware of your worries. Listen to your thoughts, even write them down daily for a week
The next step is to flip the narrative. For each negative thought, consciously replace it with a positive one. Sounds a bit tedious? Absolutely! That’s the point of practicing flipping this narrative. Instead of focusing on a worrisome situation, try to use your thoughts to find a solution or positive outcome to hold onto for a brief moment. As with anything, the more you practice, the faster this will come for you. It will become easier and easier to see the ‘sunny side of things’ vs only the storm clouds.
Why it it worth the effort to make a conscious decision to think about a positive outcome? Well, similarly to a negative ripple effect and feedback loop, positive thinking can do just the same for “good vibes” and attracting better situations.
Imagine if all of your fishing rods and lines were hooked onto only great situations, bright lights, and generally uplifting moments. How do you think you might feel differently when those lines are sending back “good vibrations”. Take a moment to feel that, each worry line you have cast, can now send you back a positive feeling. Does your worry dissipate? Could the hook untangle itself and free you up some energy and space?
Lastly. Keep practicing to stop worrying thoughts as they arise and replace them with positive solutions or bright light energy. Prayer can be another way to shift a worried feeling into a positive outcome as well.
So let’s recap, when you worry a lot, you’re spending time and energy on something unproductive or actively producing a negative response. Excessive worry, let’s say “wicked worry” is the perfect building block to lead to anxiety. Read more about handling anxiety in a previous post here. However, when you can shift your perception around worry, then you can flip your internal narrative. Bringing about more possibility for positive outcomes and higher vibrations.
I urge you to go forth and listen to your worry. Change it how you can. Observe the differences for yourself.